Words from a grateful heart
Praise God for his unfailing grace, for the church’s support in three-year Bachelor of Divinity course in Trinity Theological College. I want to sincerely thank the church leadership and your faithful provision over the last three years of my studies. Without the church’s blessing in sending me to study in TTC, I do not think that I would ever have such an opportunity to learn more about God and His Living Word.
The church as a whole has not only provided me with a spiritual home for the past 13 years, but KPC and her leadership have also allowed me to make mistakes, given me grace and shown me love and trust as I worked with the youth and young adults even before I went for my studies. Of this, I want to thank the leadership for embracing both my weaknesses and my strengths and for being willing and intentional in developing me as a whole.
Thank God for the grace that was extended to me.
What has God been teaching me over the past 2-½ years in TTC?
There are many things that I have learnt over the 2-½ years that have passed.
First of all, God is more concerned about my relationship with him than my results as a student. But saying this does not give me the permission to be slack in my studies. Over the course of my studies thus far, I have learnt to take time off without feeling guilty to spend time reading the Bible and to be still before the presence of God. I have learnt that spirituality is never about the grades that I have gained or the badges on my chest, but practicing the presence of God through prayer, everywhere and anywhere I may be.
Secondly, I realised through the course of my studies that there are many things that I do not know, and this truly humbles me. The overwhelming readings of theological books and journal articles have made me feel very small and insignificant. There are so many theological debates to handle and doctrinal issues to tackle as part of my curriculum in TTC. Up till now, I still do not know a lot of things, but one thing I know for sure: Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.
Lastly, I have learnt what it means to be contented in God, just like the poor widow who out of her poverty put in everything she had, all she had to live on in Mark 12:44. Her contentment in God allowed her to trust God for everything, even for her next meal. This speaks volume about her faith in the Lord and his faithfulness. Likewise for me, I am learning to recognise that God is all I need and I must trust in his faithfulness and his grace. Contentment is the word that I am learning during this season of my life, and it is very hard to put into practice. So I hope that you can be praying for me that I may be contented in God.
What’s next?
I met up with Elder Wei Ming over lunch in October, where he expressed the openness on behalf of the EDC and the session. Of course, I too express the same desire to come back and serve the church that have shown me grace upon grace.
I will meet up with the EDC and the session this coming December to finalise the details. Thank God! =)
What are some of my prayer requests?
I will continue to learn to be contented in God and God alone, and dwell richly in the word of God and in his love.
I will continue to walk with God faithfully each and every day.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Memoirs of Uncle Tan Hua Teck, David...
He is a man who chooses his words wisely. A man of wisdom, a man of faith, a man who first a student before he teaches us - his student. A man who speaks of truth and grace.
He went home on 13th Aug 2010, 835pm. at his death, one verse summed up his life and his struggles as he is called home, from pain to the presence of God! "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." ~ 2 Tim 4:7.
He is like a spiritual father to me, when i lost my father. He ~ a spiritual mentor, to redirect my passion. His impact on me was not just huge, but he somehow shapes the person that I am now. He teaches me what it means to be a disciple of Christ. He is like a Jim Elliot that through his death inspires another to live.
He is just a simple man, who always sit at the left side of the room, simple as he may be, but it is his simple love and simple faith that inspires many to believe that God is real and personal.
Uncle Tan treats me as his son, I love you Uncle Tan. I know that you are at a better place where pain does not exist. as much as I want you to be on earth, but in your life, I see and understood this verse, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." You have indeed understood the love and grace of God. Constantly thinking of your family even in your deathbed.
I am your son, a son that you long for. I may not be your physical son (in blood), but you treat me like your own! A father that never rejects and says no to me. A father who is intentional to know me at a deeper level, who challenge me to greater heights in the Lord and love me as a son. I lost my father but you took me in with love, grace and truth.
Many would say that he have not started his ministry after his studies, but I would say his ministry started the first day he was here! For such a time like this, Uncle Tan's ministry is his two years in TTC.
One life will soon past, but only what's done for Christ will last... i guess this sentence totally can be said of Uncle Tan, a man that did not just win the respect of the elected world, but also the secular world. A man who is wise in handling people, leadership and money. A man with great wealth of experience so that he could read people correctly and accurately. A man with great number of jokes and never ending!
most people will remember him as a man of laughter, but in his life, he taught me how he loves his wife, Alice, and his three daughters, Elaine, Alicia and Evelyn. He did not love with just mere words, he plan holidays with them, communicate with them constantly, teach them the Bible when opportunities arises. without a doubt, he was always thinking of his children and his beloved wife. A family man who loves, protects and challenges them to keep their faith in tact~!
I love you Uncle Tan, my spiritual father...from pain to the presence of God, what a moment to behold for you~! =).
For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. till we meet again to praise God for eternity~!!!
He went home on 13th Aug 2010, 835pm. at his death, one verse summed up his life and his struggles as he is called home, from pain to the presence of God! "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." ~ 2 Tim 4:7.
He is like a spiritual father to me, when i lost my father. He ~ a spiritual mentor, to redirect my passion. His impact on me was not just huge, but he somehow shapes the person that I am now. He teaches me what it means to be a disciple of Christ. He is like a Jim Elliot that through his death inspires another to live.
He is just a simple man, who always sit at the left side of the room, simple as he may be, but it is his simple love and simple faith that inspires many to believe that God is real and personal.
Uncle Tan treats me as his son, I love you Uncle Tan. I know that you are at a better place where pain does not exist. as much as I want you to be on earth, but in your life, I see and understood this verse, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." You have indeed understood the love and grace of God. Constantly thinking of your family even in your deathbed.
I am your son, a son that you long for. I may not be your physical son (in blood), but you treat me like your own! A father that never rejects and says no to me. A father who is intentional to know me at a deeper level, who challenge me to greater heights in the Lord and love me as a son. I lost my father but you took me in with love, grace and truth.
Many would say that he have not started his ministry after his studies, but I would say his ministry started the first day he was here! For such a time like this, Uncle Tan's ministry is his two years in TTC.
One life will soon past, but only what's done for Christ will last... i guess this sentence totally can be said of Uncle Tan, a man that did not just win the respect of the elected world, but also the secular world. A man who is wise in handling people, leadership and money. A man with great wealth of experience so that he could read people correctly and accurately. A man with great number of jokes and never ending!
most people will remember him as a man of laughter, but in his life, he taught me how he loves his wife, Alice, and his three daughters, Elaine, Alicia and Evelyn. He did not love with just mere words, he plan holidays with them, communicate with them constantly, teach them the Bible when opportunities arises. without a doubt, he was always thinking of his children and his beloved wife. A family man who loves, protects and challenges them to keep their faith in tact~!
I love you Uncle Tan, my spiritual father...from pain to the presence of God, what a moment to behold for you~! =).
For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. till we meet again to praise God for eternity~!!!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Day of Prayer, Exodus 33:7-11, 12-20...
the theme is taken from Exodus 33:7-11, 12-20..."Face to Face"
Some reflections for the day...
i did not hear God speaks to me face to face, but i was ministered by the Spirit to know that the loving Father turns his face away from his sacrificial Son, so that we are no longer in sin, we are in victory, we are redeemed and restored! because of what Christ has done, we can be in the presence of God to hear from him...what love~! what sacrifice~! what grace~!
Speak, O Lord...your servant is listening...
Some reflections for the day...
i did not hear God speaks to me face to face, but i was ministered by the Spirit to know that the loving Father turns his face away from his sacrificial Son, so that we are no longer in sin, we are in victory, we are redeemed and restored! because of what Christ has done, we can be in the presence of God to hear from him...what love~! what sacrifice~! what grace~!
Speak, O Lord...your servant is listening...
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
the importance of preaching!!!
On a cold, gloomy morning a preacher worked on his sermon from breakfast until noon with little to show for his labor. Impatiently he laid down his pen and look disconsolately out the window, feeling sorry for himself because his sermons came so slowly. Then there flashed into his mind an insight that had profound effort on his later ministry. "Your fellow Christians," he thought, "will spend far more time on this sermon than you will. They come from a hundred homes. They travel hundreds of miles in the aggregate to be in the service. They will spend three hundred hours participating in the worship and listening to what you have to say. Don't complain about the hours you are spending in preparation and the agony you experience. The people deserve all you can give them."
Quote from Bible Preaching, pg. 46.
Quote from Bible Preaching, pg. 46.
Is great men really great?
When people speak of great men, they think of men like Napoleon. Men of violence. Rarely do they think of peaceful men. But contrast the reception they'll receive when they return home from their battles.Napoleon will arrive in pomp and in power. A man who's achieved the very summit of earthly ambition. Yet his dreams will be haunted by the
oppressions of war. William Wilberforce, however will return to his family laying his head on his pillow and remember the slave trade is no more. ~ Lord Charles Fox, from the movie, "Amazing grace."
oppressions of war. William Wilberforce, however will return to his family laying his head on his pillow and remember the slave trade is no more. ~ Lord Charles Fox, from the movie, "Amazing grace."
Sunday, April 18, 2010
some reflections on my left eye injury...
i injured my left eye lately, about 10 days ago. in a competitive captain ball game, where its intensive is reaching to the climax of the day. when everyone is working their socks off to win the game. a game in TTC is never relax, it is either all or nothing attitude. i guess it is not just in TTC, you can get the all or nothing attitude, but i believe it is the culture of Singapore that have made us into what we are, a nation without resources but yet with great influence.
all these are driven by the word, "passion" or crudely, "competitiveness." Is there such a word, "spiritual competitiveness?" i wonder. we are living in a world of competitiveness, yet spiritually, we also want to compete! How human am i! I want to be better than you in terms of grade, in terms of spiritually, even in terms of our daily walk with God, we also can compare! Sigh!
the redness in my left eye cause me to go to the doctor, then later in the night, i went to SGH, A&E, to the eye specialist, realized that there are potential internal blood clouding together at the lower half of my eye. I was fearful, i was afraid to show my emotions to the very person who are looking after me, i do not want to know that i am very fearful. I withdraw my tears despite of an eye that is bounded to tear due to the pain. In the game, I got the ball, but my friend got my eyeball with his finger.
I do not blame him, it is bounded to happen something like that in the name of competitiveness. it is just like an ankle injure in a basketball game where you step on someone's feet. the game is fair, and no one to blame, but to ask God, why?!
before going to the GP after the game, i went for a bathe, at the bathe, my heart is crying out loud that i cannot differentiate the running water and my tears, as tears came running down silently. biting hard on the bullet and move on was never an easy task, to know that i need to see the GP, was a very fearful thing, to hear from the doctor that my left eye could potentially go blind. My heart, my heart was beating at such a speed when i was bathing, many scenarios came into my mind. Many "what if!"
How would i react to the doctor's observance? at that point in time, my heart cannot bear to surrender to the Sovereignty will of God, even though it meant for me to be blind one eye. the primary question still remains, Will I still serve God despite of what has happened? I do not dare to answer this simple yet challenge all my beliefs about God question.
it was a long bathe then. A long bathe to me at least...In my heart, i wonder what is Paul's thorn in the flesh, some scholars says that it is failing eyesight or lose of a eye. surely, i am not Paul. but i wonder it was that bad for Paul, that he pleading the Lord three times to take it away, but the Lord says, "My grace is sufficient for you." I wonder who drives him to continue to be faithful to the Lord even at that point of time. To plead with someone on three occasions was impressive, but to be rejected three times and yet follow the Lord's Lordship and Kingship and trust in his Sovereignty, this is humility, this is faith, this is passion.
continue to trust in the faithfulness of God despite of the circumstances was never easy. for me, at that junction, i am committed not to make my peers stressful over my situation, i do not even want them to worry. I went on and says, it is ok, nothing will happen to me, but deep down in my heart, i question, why Lord, why Lord! i wonder what it is like for Job, to suffer for no reason except that the Lord permits it.
Will i curse God and die as how Job's wife suggests? Or to thank God for another opportunity to testify of his grace?
How about you?
all these are driven by the word, "passion" or crudely, "competitiveness." Is there such a word, "spiritual competitiveness?" i wonder. we are living in a world of competitiveness, yet spiritually, we also want to compete! How human am i! I want to be better than you in terms of grade, in terms of spiritually, even in terms of our daily walk with God, we also can compare! Sigh!
the redness in my left eye cause me to go to the doctor, then later in the night, i went to SGH, A&E, to the eye specialist, realized that there are potential internal blood clouding together at the lower half of my eye. I was fearful, i was afraid to show my emotions to the very person who are looking after me, i do not want to know that i am very fearful. I withdraw my tears despite of an eye that is bounded to tear due to the pain. In the game, I got the ball, but my friend got my eyeball with his finger.
I do not blame him, it is bounded to happen something like that in the name of competitiveness. it is just like an ankle injure in a basketball game where you step on someone's feet. the game is fair, and no one to blame, but to ask God, why?!
before going to the GP after the game, i went for a bathe, at the bathe, my heart is crying out loud that i cannot differentiate the running water and my tears, as tears came running down silently. biting hard on the bullet and move on was never an easy task, to know that i need to see the GP, was a very fearful thing, to hear from the doctor that my left eye could potentially go blind. My heart, my heart was beating at such a speed when i was bathing, many scenarios came into my mind. Many "what if!"
How would i react to the doctor's observance? at that point in time, my heart cannot bear to surrender to the Sovereignty will of God, even though it meant for me to be blind one eye. the primary question still remains, Will I still serve God despite of what has happened? I do not dare to answer this simple yet challenge all my beliefs about God question.
it was a long bathe then. A long bathe to me at least...In my heart, i wonder what is Paul's thorn in the flesh, some scholars says that it is failing eyesight or lose of a eye. surely, i am not Paul. but i wonder it was that bad for Paul, that he pleading the Lord three times to take it away, but the Lord says, "My grace is sufficient for you." I wonder who drives him to continue to be faithful to the Lord even at that point of time. To plead with someone on three occasions was impressive, but to be rejected three times and yet follow the Lord's Lordship and Kingship and trust in his Sovereignty, this is humility, this is faith, this is passion.
continue to trust in the faithfulness of God despite of the circumstances was never easy. for me, at that junction, i am committed not to make my peers stressful over my situation, i do not even want them to worry. I went on and says, it is ok, nothing will happen to me, but deep down in my heart, i question, why Lord, why Lord! i wonder what it is like for Job, to suffer for no reason except that the Lord permits it.
Will i curse God and die as how Job's wife suggests? Or to thank God for another opportunity to testify of his grace?
How about you?
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
one man's death inspire another to live...
It has been a year since the pain of my love one deceased. The pain was so strong and real, so painful that tears could just comes down on its own without my command and despite of intentionally holding it back.
now at the wee hours of the morning, where everyone is going to sleep, but totally impossible in a college like ttc, for surely there are people working their hearts out for the many assignments, essays, quiz to study, debates and presentations to prepare.
the whole week of Chinese New Year, i did enjoy myself with the much-needed companions of my friends in church, family members and having more time with myself. the sadness of my heart came at my family reunion dinner, where everyone is having great and delicious food in front of them, my face is a poker face.
Sadness came into my heart, so much that i dare not show everyone that i am tearing and crying inside. the sadness of it all comes because of the death of one that i called father and yet brother in Christ. I wonder everyone at the dinner table, whether they remember that my father's death anniversary is in a few days time. I wonder if they still remember who is my father and what he did. Poker face was what i wear, and i believe i did well, but seriously, my heart sank deeper and deeper, i think it could touch the deepest end of the great ocean of the world.
the feeling is like 心如刀割！a song from Jacky Cheung.
sorry, i cant write anymore...period.
now at the wee hours of the morning, where everyone is going to sleep, but totally impossible in a college like ttc, for surely there are people working their hearts out for the many assignments, essays, quiz to study, debates and presentations to prepare.
the whole week of Chinese New Year, i did enjoy myself with the much-needed companions of my friends in church, family members and having more time with myself. the sadness of my heart came at my family reunion dinner, where everyone is having great and delicious food in front of them, my face is a poker face.
Sadness came into my heart, so much that i dare not show everyone that i am tearing and crying inside. the sadness of it all comes because of the death of one that i called father and yet brother in Christ. I wonder everyone at the dinner table, whether they remember that my father's death anniversary is in a few days time. I wonder if they still remember who is my father and what he did. Poker face was what i wear, and i believe i did well, but seriously, my heart sank deeper and deeper, i think it could touch the deepest end of the great ocean of the world.
the feeling is like 心如刀割！a song from Jacky Cheung.
sorry, i cant write anymore...period.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Mark 7:6-9...
6He replied, "Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written: "'These people honor me with their lips,but their hearts are far from me.
7They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men.'
8You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to the traditions of men."
9And he said to them: "You have a fine way of setting aside the commands of God in order to observe your own traditions!"
OUCH!
7They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men.'
8You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to the traditions of men."
9And he said to them: "You have a fine way of setting aside the commands of God in order to observe your own traditions!"
OUCH!
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Let God be God...
No one is indispensable in the eyes of God except for Christ Himself...
This is what i reflect about especially i choose to step down from the TTC student council. Not because I do not want to serve anymore in the Student Council, but rather as i am thinking about the 5 H's that i have listed out for this coming semester, i really felt that it was a great struggle for me to give up the role. My only excuse to them was my grades are not of the best, so therefore i need to spend more time in my studies and in my field education attachment church to share Christ to a group of basketball players there that i know of.
But i guess the real reason was, i need to learn to keep myself in check, especially my pride. Taking on more responsibility was the best way to boost one's pride and surely, it is for me as well.
as i reflect more about the role i am taking, the more i want to take on, the more i am eager to serve, and "passionate" as one of my good friend put it. but deep down in my heart, i realised that i have a great need for people's assurance, people's comments to boost the inner man of me, people's praise that i am a good leader, "a wasted talent" as one of my another friend's comment.
the more i reflect, the more assure that i should not to take up the role, but many people are looking at me with the eyes, "Ron, you are not steady, you should finished the role as it is given to you." my tears are rolling within the space of my eyes, but i learnt to keep it from flowing down, a trademark of a man! haha...Pride at its peak!
the best way to kill my pride was to give up the role, it pains my heart, my ego is deflated, but i know my heart is restored, my soul would be encouraged, my motivation for serving would be then clear and clean.
Now i am glad that i let it go totally, accepting other people's thinking about me...but i know this is between God and me, and it is enough...No longer wanting to live in other people's expectations, no longer wanting other people's praise and love...
no one is indispensable, no one is wasted, anyone can be replaced, anyone can be changed... painful, but necessarily for me...Thank you Lord...
Surely, in the kingdom of God there is no one is indispensable in the eyes of God except for Christ Himself. God loves me for who he is, and not me...Simple yet profound...
This is what i reflect about especially i choose to step down from the TTC student council. Not because I do not want to serve anymore in the Student Council, but rather as i am thinking about the 5 H's that i have listed out for this coming semester, i really felt that it was a great struggle for me to give up the role. My only excuse to them was my grades are not of the best, so therefore i need to spend more time in my studies and in my field education attachment church to share Christ to a group of basketball players there that i know of.
But i guess the real reason was, i need to learn to keep myself in check, especially my pride. Taking on more responsibility was the best way to boost one's pride and surely, it is for me as well.
as i reflect more about the role i am taking, the more i want to take on, the more i am eager to serve, and "passionate" as one of my good friend put it. but deep down in my heart, i realised that i have a great need for people's assurance, people's comments to boost the inner man of me, people's praise that i am a good leader, "a wasted talent" as one of my another friend's comment.
the more i reflect, the more assure that i should not to take up the role, but many people are looking at me with the eyes, "Ron, you are not steady, you should finished the role as it is given to you." my tears are rolling within the space of my eyes, but i learnt to keep it from flowing down, a trademark of a man! haha...Pride at its peak!
the best way to kill my pride was to give up the role, it pains my heart, my ego is deflated, but i know my heart is restored, my soul would be encouraged, my motivation for serving would be then clear and clean.
Now i am glad that i let it go totally, accepting other people's thinking about me...but i know this is between God and me, and it is enough...No longer wanting to live in other people's expectations, no longer wanting other people's praise and love...
no one is indispensable, no one is wasted, anyone can be replaced, anyone can be changed... painful, but necessarily for me...Thank you Lord...
Surely, in the kingdom of God there is no one is indispensable in the eyes of God except for Christ Himself. God loves me for who he is, and not me...Simple yet profound...
Saturday, January 2, 2010
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