Just one word, it will brighten my day and refresh my heart! Mission!
Heard from one of my friend that there is a possible mission trip to Egypt for a recce trip. A trip that focus on spying the land, to see whether is there a possible trip there to do any form of ministry in the future.
I think I need to pray and think about, how to marriage the two different calls, Mission and Pastoral ministry.
Teach me thy ways O Lord.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
Breaking into~!
2nd September 2009, while I was having accountability guy time with Clement and Jason from TTC. I received a familiar number, a number that would always asked me, Are you coming back tonight? Do you want me to cook dinner for you, so that when you are back home, you got something to eat? A comfortable and warm voice awaits me as I picked up the call.
My mother called while I was sharing my struggle to take up a preaching engagement with Bethel youth camp, the process and finally how the Lord convicted me through his word in Jeremiah 20:9 to take up the honor to share God's word. It was a difficult process for me, for the dates actually crash with my home church youth camp's dates. Both was precious ministries in the eyes of the Lord, none is higher than the other. Both would be the kind of ministry that I would want to do, be it preaching or spending time with the youths, encouraging the young adults in their planning process of the youth camp together with Tong Chai.
I was caught in a fix between two camps as I prayed and reflected. It is not a matter of choice, not a matter of preference to begin with, definitely not a matter of gifting and passion. What I realized, it all boils down to who am I in Christ and who is God in my life.
Once I had established that I am purely a slave in Christ, my role is to glorify God in the decision making process. What then will glorify God? Preaching or spending time with the youths?
With this framework that I am a slave in Christ, redeemed by the blood of Christ from being a slave to sin. So therefore, I reflected about Jeremiah 20:9,
But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.
The words of Jeremiah 20:9, kept on challenging my heart, and in the end I was convicted to take up the role and surrendering my prefer choice of being with my youths...
by faith will I accept, by grace will I preach, in truth will I stand, in love will I learn...
Ron~! An anxious, crying voice registered in my mind, a familiar and warm voice seems very different this time! The content of the caller seems to be out of the world!
Ron~!!! Our house has been broke into! Mammy's jewelery are all stolen! A panic voice with a depression tone, a sense of hopeless! It seems like it is the end of the world for her! Crying non-stop and yet trying to articulate her words to her son who is enjoying a cup of coffee with his friends.
Jason fetch me home, but my mind was preoccupied with possible scenarios of what would happen as my fingers busy sms-ing to my friends, to pray for wisdom in handling the whole situation. Thank you all for praying!
Reach my home at 1445, went in, saw some marks on my window grills, saw that my collections of loose coins are all gone, seeing my mum crying as she try her best to share her painful experience of losing all her precious jewelery that was passed down by my grandmothers and her grandmother.
Police came to take her testimony, Inspectors came and asked me questions about my whereabouts and some family history, the experts came later at 4plus pm to find leads, take some sample for DNA, photos of the crime scenes.
Went for dinner with my mum and sister-in-law, bought more food than usual, to assure my mum that even though she lost her jewelery and some cash, she still got food to eat, she still got 2 sons loving and caring for her. All is not lost!
The ultimatum came when she told me that she wants to die. Then did I realized that it was quite a heavy blow on her, to lost the sense of hope, all that she is holding on, was the world she is living and the framework that she was brought up with - possessions!
The following statement seems to suggest that I am quite cruel with my words, but I guess it came out from a loving heart that does not want her to go into depression. "Ma, is your life only worth the value of your jewelery? There are so many who wants to live, especially those who lost all their house and their family members in the recent Taiwan typhoon, they still want to live!"
I want to change her paradigm on sufferings. Many people had suffer big time, but yet they still want to live. Why should we die because we lost our property, our money, our very possessions that we hold dearly? I believe what I said was harsh, hard but yet truth in some sense.
Losing her dear possessions does not mean the end of the earth! The world is still revolving, so it means that we should continue to live even though we are facing sufferings! Very tough to live, but Christ did not promise a life that is completely trouble-free life! And as a Christian myself, I need to see that sufferings and injustices are part of the testing of my faith!
On 3rd September, we had day of prayer. I was thinking, "Why does bad things happens to godly people?" Heard of this book title before? This is what I have been thinking all day!
My answer? A test of faith as I spend time reflecting on the book of Job, just reading the first 3 chapters was comforting enough! Job lost his possessions, his children, all of them in a short frame of time!
My mother called while I was sharing my struggle to take up a preaching engagement with Bethel youth camp, the process and finally how the Lord convicted me through his word in Jeremiah 20:9 to take up the honor to share God's word. It was a difficult process for me, for the dates actually crash with my home church youth camp's dates. Both was precious ministries in the eyes of the Lord, none is higher than the other. Both would be the kind of ministry that I would want to do, be it preaching or spending time with the youths, encouraging the young adults in their planning process of the youth camp together with Tong Chai.
I was caught in a fix between two camps as I prayed and reflected. It is not a matter of choice, not a matter of preference to begin with, definitely not a matter of gifting and passion. What I realized, it all boils down to who am I in Christ and who is God in my life.
Once I had established that I am purely a slave in Christ, my role is to glorify God in the decision making process. What then will glorify God? Preaching or spending time with the youths?
With this framework that I am a slave in Christ, redeemed by the blood of Christ from being a slave to sin. So therefore, I reflected about Jeremiah 20:9,
But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.
The words of Jeremiah 20:9, kept on challenging my heart, and in the end I was convicted to take up the role and surrendering my prefer choice of being with my youths...
by faith will I accept, by grace will I preach, in truth will I stand, in love will I learn...
Ron~! An anxious, crying voice registered in my mind, a familiar and warm voice seems very different this time! The content of the caller seems to be out of the world!
Ron~!!! Our house has been broke into! Mammy's jewelery are all stolen! A panic voice with a depression tone, a sense of hopeless! It seems like it is the end of the world for her! Crying non-stop and yet trying to articulate her words to her son who is enjoying a cup of coffee with his friends.
Jason fetch me home, but my mind was preoccupied with possible scenarios of what would happen as my fingers busy sms-ing to my friends, to pray for wisdom in handling the whole situation. Thank you all for praying!
Reach my home at 1445, went in, saw some marks on my window grills, saw that my collections of loose coins are all gone, seeing my mum crying as she try her best to share her painful experience of losing all her precious jewelery that was passed down by my grandmothers and her grandmother.
Police came to take her testimony, Inspectors came and asked me questions about my whereabouts and some family history, the experts came later at 4plus pm to find leads, take some sample for DNA, photos of the crime scenes.
Went for dinner with my mum and sister-in-law, bought more food than usual, to assure my mum that even though she lost her jewelery and some cash, she still got food to eat, she still got 2 sons loving and caring for her. All is not lost!
The ultimatum came when she told me that she wants to die. Then did I realized that it was quite a heavy blow on her, to lost the sense of hope, all that she is holding on, was the world she is living and the framework that she was brought up with - possessions!
The following statement seems to suggest that I am quite cruel with my words, but I guess it came out from a loving heart that does not want her to go into depression. "Ma, is your life only worth the value of your jewelery? There are so many who wants to live, especially those who lost all their house and their family members in the recent Taiwan typhoon, they still want to live!"
I want to change her paradigm on sufferings. Many people had suffer big time, but yet they still want to live. Why should we die because we lost our property, our money, our very possessions that we hold dearly? I believe what I said was harsh, hard but yet truth in some sense.
Losing her dear possessions does not mean the end of the earth! The world is still revolving, so it means that we should continue to live even though we are facing sufferings! Very tough to live, but Christ did not promise a life that is completely trouble-free life! And as a Christian myself, I need to see that sufferings and injustices are part of the testing of my faith!
On 3rd September, we had day of prayer. I was thinking, "Why does bad things happens to godly people?" Heard of this book title before? This is what I have been thinking all day!
My answer? A test of faith as I spend time reflecting on the book of Job, just reading the first 3 chapters was comforting enough! Job lost his possessions, his children, all of them in a short frame of time!
In Job 2: 9-10, His wife said to him, "Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!" He replied, "You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.
It is so easy, isn't it? To Curse God! The easy way always seems to be the better way, but is it true? Job's wife challenges Job, indirectly challenging God!
But hear the words of Job, "Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" What is even more beautiful, was Job did not sin in what he said!
I am not Job to begin with, I know it is tough mentally to continue to praise God even in this situation! Logically, I could not thought of any reason to praise God! But praising God comes from a grateful heart, a heart that desire to obey God even in tough situation like this at home. Spiritually tough as well, for I am praying what is God trying to teach me in the midst of this incident that I strongly believed that it is definitely part of God's Sovereignty plan.
What I have learnt...
Sufferings that we faced is not because of our sins that many would suggest, but sufferings are part of the Gospel message - the suffering Messiah! Sufferings are a test of our faith just like in the context of Job, whose body was full of painful sores but had not cruse God!
These are refining moments that we are facing as a family, but we need to continue to trust in the goodness of God in the midst of trial, to endure it, to embrace it so that we can be totally refine, constantly molded by God just like what is mentioned in 1 Peter 1:6-9,
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
Can be praying that my mum would come to know the Lord despite of this incident! Knowing that sufferings are part of being a Christian.
God is at work in breaking into my mother's heart! Breaking into deeply where it hurts the most...Yet sometimes when it hurts the most, we understood what really matters to us...
All glory belongs to God and God alone! Amen!
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