In my first month of my second year, I was tested in the area of my character, my convictions as a believer. What it means to practice what I preach.
Realized that very much in my own heart, looking at things that is happening, I wonder as I asked God, what is the learning lesson during this challenging period. Why do I say that it is challenging at the first place? Cause of my heart was tempted at 5am in the morning, I receive a phone call, "Ron, I want you badly, I need you now, can we go out tonight?" in a tone that was tempting, that I literally jumped out of the bed!
After asking for more details of the caller, and I try to check the authenticity of the person, realized that it was a prank call, as I try to dig deeper and call back to the person at 11am. And since then, I did not received any of such phone call.
After I put down the phone, I was tempted in my heart, to play with the idea, to think that there is someone who is really interested in me. But the more I think about it, the more my heart was challenged, to continue to dwell on it? No! I went into a time of prayer till 6am. It was a long hour of prayer, to struggle with my heart's emotions to entertain the thoughts was dangerous, but yet in the grace of God. The hour of prayer seems to be a refreshing one for my heart, my soul was at peace with the decision of not dwelling into the caller and the voice that is drawing every part of me as a man to want to meet her at that hour! A test of integrity!
The other incident in short, my wallet was picked. But the lesson that I learnt was more precious than anything that I could think of! In the parable of the unmerciful servant, which talks about a servant's debt was cleared by the master unconditionally, but yet he is unwilling to clear the fellow servant's debt. When my wallet was picked, I was so angry! My heart was full of anger! More importantly, I was determined to find out the thief!
Yet the next afternoon, I was spending time with the Lord, thinking and praying to the Lord, asking him, why would such things happen to me, twice in a week, in the month of July!
As I pray and reflect that day, the Lord reveals to me through the parable of the adulteress, context is that the Pharisees of that day and the teachers of the law came and brought before Jesus the woman. Jesus drawn on the sand, saying, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." What an important and powerful verse to me! It taught me a great truth and condition of my heart.
My heart is seriously struggling to forgive the person, even though I do not know the person. But my heart was challenged to the max, to cast the stone even though I am a sinner! This move was so tempting! I guess the Lord challenged my heart to forgive the person, not to see myself as a saint, but rather as a sinner as well!
Through this encounter, it seems that the Lord has done an operation in my heart, from unwilling to forgive, to a heart which totally understood that I am a sinner first, then I am first forgiven by Christ and have a relationship. To have any form of bitterness in my heart is to said that my righteousness is higher and greater than God's.
A refreshing encounter, a fruitful time that I could have with the Lord. Losing a hundred is nothing, compared to the time spend with the Lord.
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